GIST

Gossip In Sly Terms

This is something I’ve had to learn the hard way. 
I hurt someone I care about.
Not with fists.
Not with silence.
But with words.

Words spoken in rooms she wasn’t in.
Words that felt like participation,
like a harmless contribution to conversation,
but ended up slicing deeper than I imagined.

It was “gist.”
Just gist.
Casual, flowing, normal.

But what we often call gist,
is just gossip in sly terms,
gossip in a pink polka-dot package,
with laughter as the ribbon
and self-righteousness tucked inside the folds.

We don’t name it for what it is,
because naming it would mean confronting it.
And confronting it would mean
looking in the mirror,
standing face to face with the ugly truth,
that something inside us found a sliver entertainment in something so vile.

But the damage it does…
is not so disguised.
It steals trust from friendship,
throws mud on a name,
and lights slow fires in the corners of communities.

By our speech, we can ruin the world…”
 - James 3:6, MSG.

There is no such thing as a harmless half-truth.
There is no such thing as a private disrespect.
Because when we speak of others,
we reshape their reputations
not just in someone else’s mind,
but in our own hearts too.
and too often with half truths and rumors.

This isn’t a perfect redemption arc.
I still feel the sting of what I did.
But I also feel the quiet invitation;
to take responsibility,
to rebuild trust slowly,
and to choose integrity over entertainment.

This too is Ubuntu.
Because in this web of humanity,
I hurt you means
I hurt us.

And to make it whole again,
I must own my part.
So I’m learning to pause before I speak.
To hold people’s names like glass,
precious, breakable, worthy of gentleness.
Because in the end,
every word is a seed,
and I want to plant what heals.

Now, it’s never easy to be open about a deep flaw.
It is, after all, part of the human condition,
to want to present ourselves in a perfect light,
even when we know we’re far from it.

But this must be said,
because too many of us fall into this same trap.

And remember the part about God instructing us in love?
It’s seen here too.
The Bible continually warns us against gossip,
not because it wounds God directly,
but because of the harm it brings to another person made in His image.

I know I’m not alone in this.
“Gist” has become so normalized,
woven into the fabric of our daily conversations.

So the next time you feel a conversation shifting from matters to people,
take a moment.
Pause.
And ask yourself:

• Would I speak these words if the person were in the room with me?
  (Mentally place them there if they aren’t.)

• Can I address this issue directly with the person,
  instead of speaking behind them?

• How can I gently redirect this conversation toward something more meaningful?

• How can I ensure that the next words I speak will build up, not tear down?

I’m praying for strength, for myself and for all of us,
as we learn to choose integrity over impulse,
love over harm,
and truth with grace over the temptation to simply “gist.”

References

Job 35:8

Proverbs 16:28

Ephesians 4:29

Proverbs 25:9-10

Leviticus 19:16